The simple answer is no. Anyone who claims they are is a charlatan or deluded. And with all due respect to the Ansville Baptist Church, I'm highly dubious they have all the answers. If their preparedness strategy involves a close reading of the scriptures and a literal interpretation of what's found inside, then why do I need them as an intermediary between my beliefs and the Big Guy? Any more nuanced approach to the afterlife would inevitability involve a healthy portion of doubt and skepticism, so the Church (any church) is not where I'd turn. How are we even talking about Eternity with so much on our plates in the here and now? Is it an acknowledgement that our job on earth is done, or (more likely) that things are so far gone we should focus on what comes next. I'm ready for the weekend. Eternity can wait.