Here's a self-portrait. It's as selfie as I'm likely to get. There I am am in the background. Way back there reflected in those big silver globes, trying to balance an umbrella in the rain as I adjust my phone. Multiple versions of my tiny reproduced self. In the background observing. It's not that I judge people who take selfies and post them but I don't fully get the now-natural instinct to document yourself on a regular basis — like series of stills from a documentary film about your life.  When I see something interesting or travel someplace part of me thinks "I should save this" so it doesn't get lost. So I'll occasionally post pictures of places and things. But posting my own image seems superfluous. People who know me, know what I look like so  it feels un-necessary to show them how I look today, a week or a month older than last time. But when people I know do it I appreciate it so there's a conundrum of sorts. The thing is if I think I look good in a photo it feels like vanity to post it. Like I'm fishing for likes or positive comments.  If I look bad I'd rather not have it sent out into the world. Is this my ego talking? Probably. I understand that it's a way to connect with your friends by saying, "look here I am!" but it's not something that ever came naturally to me. I want recognition but I'm not a ham. Even when it comes to profile pictures on social media sites I prefer an abstract image or an obtuse view of myself. The exception is LinkedIn where I thought that I should post an actual photo of myself for the good of my career. But even that one felt a bit disingenuous since the photo seemed overly flattering and not really representative of who I am now. But this arrangement of lazy Susans caught my eye. The way it reflected off these sci-fi orbs and created a different kind of flower within it. So my image becomes like a watermark taking up just a few of the many pixels that make up the frame. Which seems like plenty enough.

Then this morning an out-of-town friend posted an image of the two us together during her visit here to our friends group without asking and apologized profusely. But I didn't mind at all. People responded saying that it was nice to see us together. So I get it.