Gaslighting 2025

 

There's a common but effective story trope in films and literature when a character is sure that something is wrong but has a hard time convincing people around them that what they're seeing is real. In incident after incident we, the audience see what's going on, but the people around the main character are blind to it or pretend to be.  You want to reach inside the story and yell at the oblivious characters, "it's true!"Then, inevitably, after excruciating scenes of loved ones condescendingly telling them that maybe they're "just tired" and need a rest, their concerns are finally confirmed and they have an ally in their struggle. These scenes are incredibly satisfying and cathartic. And even though the monster or gremlin or zombie or whatever is still a threat, now at least it's been acknowledged and can be fought together. 

That maddening feeling that your sanity is being questioned and having someone tell you that what you're seeing isn't what you're seeing is what we call gaslighting and originated with the fantastic 1944 film of the same name starring Ingrid Bergman and a very young Angela Lansbury (pictured).  Gaslighting is a common technique of abusers and narcissists and it feels as if it's happening on a national scale these days. One of the signs at the recent No Kings protest hit home for me - "Make it make sense"and could apply to the last decade or so of political discourse. With each new escalation and reaffirmation of a pathological cruelty and fathomless stupidity in control, I ask myself if this is really happening. I'm told daily that it's not and that I shouldn't believe my eyes and ears. Maybe I'm just tired.  It doesn't mean that this abuse will end anytime soon, but having allies in this fight is something.